soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Randomize
