really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
