you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
