Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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