butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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