making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
