My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
