batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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