Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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