who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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