I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize