I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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