I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
