That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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