I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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