Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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