I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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