I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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