i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
