turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
