Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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