i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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