if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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