WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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