just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
