i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
