He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize