There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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