i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
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