so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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