it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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