went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
