Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
