she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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