I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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