what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
