can u get pink eye on your cock?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
