He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
