so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
