He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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