I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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