No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
