tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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