I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
