Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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