dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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