Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
