So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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