The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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