"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
