I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
