You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
