talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
