i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
