have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
