I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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