we're blogging at a bar
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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