Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
