You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
