Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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