So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I want you more than these girls want KFC
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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