Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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