you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
