i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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