Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
