Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
