i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
