So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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