He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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