Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
