Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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