i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
