how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
