so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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