found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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