just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
