i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
