So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
