I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
