Umm I'm too high to move.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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