Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
