I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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