walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
