youre lurking in front of me
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize