He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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