dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
